Ambitions

Something stuck with me the other day. While watching a movie on Netflix, I found myself drawn to the protagonist and how many of his objectives mirrored my own. But even though his pursuit was deeply passionate, that didn’t necessarily make it a positive achievement for society—or even for himself.

I’ve always been someone who likes to think outside the box rather than conform to a systematic way of living. I feel that doing work that suppresses your ideas or limits your ability to innovate can become a major barrier to what you’re capable of becoming. In the movie, the protagonist’s mind was eventually pushed to a breaking point, and his entire life began to change. His thinking shifted into an “it’s either my way or no way” mentality, and he became willing to take whatever measures were necessary to reach his goal.

I’ve certainly had my own moments of doing whatever I could to get what I wanted, though thankfully, never to the extremes of the character. I’m not sure how much age has to do with it, but I’ve noticed a shift in the way I approach the things I want. When I was younger and more of a menace, some of those approaches led me down a dark path that was difficult to escape. With the help of amazing people, time, and a willingness to change, I’ve learned to approach those desires differently—through a healthier avenue that I’m still discovering and rediscovering.

Perhaps wanting more out of life isn’t the problem. It’s how we choose to go after it. Def don’t want to lose that part of me that thinks differently, dreams big, and refuses to settle. But I also don’t want my ambitions to consume me. It’s learning how to carry those qualities without letting them carry us.