Not Personal

The world will always supply adversity. That’s simply what the world does, and it can take a thousand different forms. We choose whether something is happening to us or for us. There is tremendous power in not taking things personally. When we do, we can lose our grip on reality and become emotional instead of rational.

The difficulty we face in life isn’t personal. If we remember this, we disarm every adversary, obstacle, every complication we’ll ever face.

For example, when renewing my cell phone contract. Although I knew the protocol, I still prepared myself for the inevitable reiteration. With every statement or question, I had a better response. I wasn’t being a jerk about it; However, with a smile and a soft voice, I was familiar with the ins and outs of the process. But what I realized afterward was that I had made the whole interaction about me. I was taking their job personally. My attitude had become, “I know how this works. Let’s just get it done.” The irony was that the resistance wasn’t necessarily coming from them or the process. Much of it was coming from me.

The same applies to being mistreated. As the saying goes: “Hurt people hurt people.”

It also applies to criticism and hate online. People who are truly accomplished and secure rarely spend their time trying to tear others down in comment sections. More often, negative comments come from people seeking attention or validation. Their actions are about themselves. It isn’t you versus them—it’s them versus themselves. You’re simply caught in the crossfire.

Understanding this gives you the power to respond wisely because the problems you face aren’t indictments of who you are. Getting angry only redirects your energy away from what’s best for you and toward blaming a person, group, circumstance, or the world. Bad things happen to everyone. Everyone gets rejected. Everyone is let down. Everyone falls short. It’s not just you—it’s the world doing what the world does.

I learned this during my experience with the cell phone carrier. They weren’t trying to make my life harder. They were simply doing their jobs and trying to live their own lives. Once you stay calm, you can solve the problem in front of you. When you stop treating problems like adversaries and start seeing them as challenges or puzzles to solve (within), life begins to look different.

It starts to feel like life is on your side.

Every challenge becomes an opportunity because we cannot fight and solve at the same time. We have to choose: live freely with the wind at our backs, or remain confined by the walls we build around ourselves. The present moment is neutral. It doesn’t hold a grudge. Right now is simply right now. And that puts the responsibility on you to decide what it means.

Will you slow down to find clarity? Will you open your eyes to see the value?

The road ahead will be challenging—not because the resistance is personal, but because within that resistance are the components you need to build your very best life.